The Adventures of Ford Fusion... chapter one

No, this is not a scoop about a long awaited sequel to one of my all time favorite stupid movies... no, the Diceman does not cometh...

No, actually, this is my account of my search for my newly purchased automobile. Newly purchased, not purchased new... I'm nothing if not down-right miserly when it comes to big ticket purchases, and I refuse to take the big hit of depreciation that comes with a brand spankin new car, if I can help it. I wasn't even in the market for a car, perfectly comfortable driving my eight year old Taurus, (and with routine maintainence, it probably could have gone at least another 100,000 miles), that is of course until it was wrecked by a lady who could neither see it, nor the big Yield sign that she had... but that is another story.

Buzz- "Have you discovered crystallic fusion... or are your people still using fossil fuels?"

Woody- "We've got AAs."

really that has nothing to do with this post, except for the word fusion, but as most of you know... well, that is how my brain works... random free association.

Anywho...

So, I need transportation. I hop online and search the inventory of my trusted dealer. We're in luck, there are a half dozen or so clean nearly new cars that might work. Big enough to comfortably fit my six foot frame, as well as the rest of the family, yet small enough to get respectable gas mileage.

So we head on down to the dealership and talk. Well, it turns out the car at the top of my list had just been sold. OK, on to the next, and the next... it turns out, this is a terrible market to shop for a car... you want a truck? Dozens of them available in all shapes and sizes.... SUV more your style? More than enough to choose from... Crossover? We've got them too! ...but a car, a regular old car, a little more difficult to find. It makes sense, I understand it, gas has been hovering at $4 per gallon long enough to change the market. It doesn't mean that I'm any less frustrated, because even though I'm a bit of a tight wad, I'm still pretty picky about what I'll spend my money on. Especially when it comes down to the obvious, I plan on driving my choice for at least eight to ten years, and that is a long time to tolerate even the tiniest of annoyances.

So, after discovering that the webmaster is great about adding newly arrived cars to the site in a timely fashion... he's just not as diligent about removing vehicles when they've been sold. On the plus side, I guess I've got decent taste, because there are at least five other people that like the same cars that caught my interest.

Well, now I'm starting to think I may end up looking at a new vehicle, and the trade-offs that come with them. Higher cost, immediate depreciation, and the annoyance of the first time some lazy, inconsiderate idiot bumps it with a grocery cart and leaves a nick that I'll notice every day for the next eight years...

But I keep searching, I link over to one of the sister dealerships within the group... Aha, there is a car that might be worth looking into... if it is, in fact, still in stock... one year old, low miles, and similar equipment to the first car that was on my list... I make a call, they check on its availability, and bring it in, give it the full once over and let me drive it for a couple of days...

So, I'm sitting in the credit union...

getting a pre-approval for an auto loan. Well, I'm waiting patiently for the clerk to finish processing all the forms and figures.... It's a nice office, the muzak is tuned to a classic rock station which is great... but, as most of you know, I am a bit of a daydreamer, and anything that could possibly relate to an old TV show or movie usually triggers the scene in my brain...

meanwhile.... back at the credit union.... well, everything is going great, the clerk is going over some of the figures with me... and I notice the muzak is now playing... 'Everybody's working for the Weekend'.... great song, what's the problem, you say?... well, at some point I notice that I'm just ever so slightly bobbing my head to the music... and then the tempo of the song and my head nodding ring in the thought... where have I seen something with this great song in it?

And then it hits me... while this real nice professional and friendly lady is confirming my interest rate, and I should be paying closer attention... at this point I am just hearing her voice, not so much the words... blankly staring at the pre-approval letter.... and my biggest hope is that she doesn't peace together the song... the bobbing of my head... my blank stare at the page and my pained attempt to hold in hysterical laughter....

have you figured it out?


need a hint?


two words


Chris Farley


I felt like I could be in a scene of The Office... professional setting, serious business... and I'm some flake who can't concentrate because a nearly twenty year old scene from Saturday Night Live is making me fight down, with every fiber of my being, an uncontrolable giggling fit.

and this is the story of my life... a thirty something goof-ball... in stunning technicolor...

Good Day... I said, Good Day!

More Tunes to batter the brain...

This is a game we play at work. We either trade annoying song titles, with the hope that we will no longer suffer alone with them playing in just our own brain... or so that we can shake one turd tune loose with a slightly less agrivating one offered up in it's place...

Yesterday, my boss had a Leif Garrett song stuck in his brain (he had been helping his wife load her mp3 player, and she had this particular gem)... I thank God that it didn't bore its way into my head, I honestly can't even think of the title, I fought it off with Don't worry, Be happy... and a side of Party all the Time...

Question... is everyone still talkin' bout MC Brains?

The Latest Tune that is Stuck in my Brain...

Jerry Reed...

When You're Hot, You're Hot... When You're Not, You're Not!

Try to shake that one loose from your cortex... as always, you're welcome!