random thought

Here is a challenge for you... ever try to throw out a trash can?

I tried for weeks to get the garbage men to take this wreck of a can that blew into the yard one day. It all happened about a month ago, a stray plastic garbage can finds its way into the front yard one windy afternoon. No big deal, polite neighbor that I am, I leave it outside of our garage, sheilded from the wind, figuring the owner would spot it and reclaim it. Of course, I'm naive, because honestly, if you had seen this thing.... it had the notched bottom clueing me in that it had at one time, but no longer possessed wheels.... it also had a really big gash down the side that would allow you to look through the can to read yesterdays discarded newspaper. If it were made of metal, and were on a desert planet in a galaxy far, far away... jawas wouldn't take this thing.

but, yet I kept assuming that the owner would come looking for his p.o.s can... well, I hoped that he would, it would be the decent thing to do... I wouldn't want someone else to be stuck with it if it were mine.

and yet, each week, I would drag it , empty, mind you, down to the street on pick up day, with the hope that the owner would see it and take it home or, that the garbage men would pause for a second and notice the empty, crumby, broken garbage can and take it away from my yard.... but NOOOOOOOO.

so the next week rolls around, pick up day comes, and I'm rushing around helping get the kids in the car for school and daycare and then I remember to take out the trash... so I scramble to grab my clean bins full of properly bagged trash, and there is this eyesore.... cue: 'Three of these things belong together.... one of these things is not the same..." I grab it and think: "how can I get the men to take it away?" I spot a can of Krylon on a nearby shelf, grab it and spray across the side "T-R-A-S-H"

yeah, that didn't work either... me thinks, the men are assuming I wrote that, so that I would know what sort of material should be placed inside.

another week passes... really getting tired of seeing this ugly plastic thing everyday, especially now that it had become stained with blood-red spray paint identifying what it originally contained long ago, and had now become, for all the world to see.

last minute scramble again on the morning of pick up day... this time I hurry and grab a sharpie and a sheet of paper, oh no it is raining...... what to do? I grab a zip-loc bag and stuff my little note about how the can is broken, not even mine, but rolled into my yard ages ago in a storm, so please take this plastic hunk of junk with you and put it out of my misery.... ...now the search is on for tape or staples or anything I can use to affix this despairate plea to the side of my nemesis.

It shouldn't be hard, I have tape.... somewhere.... now, where is the duct tape?... no idea, I guess I'll have to turn in my Macgyver fan club card, blast!

Hockey tape! I'll use hockey tape, my old equipment bag is right there on a shelf in the corner.... wouldn't you know it... the zipper is rusted and won't move..... Mr McGee, please don't make me angry... you wouldn't like me when I'm angry...

this is really starting to affect my blood pressure...

eventually, I find an old end-roll of black electrical tape.... success!!!

Except, now... the rain has picked up in its intensity, my jacket and gilligan hat are getting soaked, and imagine that, the tape doesn't want to stick to the wet plastic.

its like I just finished the old 96er and I'm feeling great until the waiter says that I now have to eat the gristle and fat.

So, I find a rag, wipe down a dirty, nasty, broken down, piece of garbage, garbage can.... until a large section of it is clean... and dry.... just so I can tape a note to its side... begging the garbage men to take this filthy abomination away and out of my life forever...

and on we go with my day.... I'm nearly soaked, I end up being just over a half-hour late for work, and I still have no guarantee that this will be the day the dreaded can will finally fade away.

fast-forward to the evening... I turn into the neighborhood... fingers crossed.... will this be the day that it is finally gone? Yes.... YES..... YESSSSS!

Thank the maker!... I love it when a plan comes together!... knowing is half the battle!

however you want to say it... really, the end of the story, honestly pales in comparison to the frustration that getting to this point brought on... but it is finally gone....

and that is my tale of how incredibly difficult it was to successfully throw out a trash can.